4 Seasons by Jess C. Scott


There were tears, and a tearing of flowers that blossomed in the rain.

We thought the risk it took to bloom, would be more painful than remaining tight inside the bud. We exulted at having been proven wrong. We both believed what we shared would last a millennium.

I would lie on the field watching you dance, paint, sing, before finding ourselves in a chaotic frenzy, that fed and sustained us. You made the cold nights shorter; I thought my home would have no need for a fireplace, ever again.

As I watched you go, I thought of the first sweet night we became lovers. "I’ll soon be back," you promised.


You said you had found a special place where no one would see us. By the passages of dreams, I visited you in secret, as you slept. Even the shadows could not betray us there.

I spent night after night with you, dreading the final hour before daybreak, wishing the sun would forget to rise. Once, all we did was lie side by side for hours on end, listening to our hearts, that were once complete strangers.

Each morning, when I looked at my untidy hair in the mirror, I decided to leave it as you last saw it. I did not care if the whole world knew about us.


I saw you dancing beneath a tree, that drenched you with light pink petals in April. It was the place which sanctioned our first night together.   

You weren’t alone. You said to the lover whose arms held you, that you’d always be there. You spoke the same words to me less than a harvest moon ago.

"We have our duties to fulfill." Your note was with me at all times.

At low tide, I drew a heart in the sand, with driftwood we had carved our names into. The waves and seagulls that crowded the shore seemed to mock me, but I refused to listen.


I always thought I’d drown in your love, until I came face-to-face with an impregnable layer of ice.

Confusion. My thoughts are lost in them, but not my heart.

I wonder why I never said anything to you. I thought my displays of blushes and kisses were obvious. You said you are going away to be his wife; I said I want to go away too, to make my own destiny, and I’d like you to be part of the journey, which is the part I forgot to say. Curse these words that I can never find, when I need them the most.

I decide to go by your window, call your name, seduce you all over again, and we can steal into the dark together.

By the time I do, a whole year has gone by--along with you.


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