My life is a normal one I think. I work and come home. We all know about a man and his castle, here’s my take on it.
I like settling into my yard when the night has set, the stars and the fresh air are relaxing. Usually I sit back in the dark, among the shadows where it's calming.
The lawn’s cut short and the shrubs are lined and pruned. I can see the outline of the barbeque up on the deck. The kid’s lights are on upstairs and will be going out soon.
I see the woman who feeds me daily and smile, she is always so busy, never a chance to talk. She brings a platter out to the yard and sets it in a container with a cover. While she marches off to the house, I check over the assortment of food. I always enjoy the variety, even if in small amounts.
I settle back into the dark, leaning against the fence and take a contented look around. I keep the bottle hid here, just for occasions like these, where an after meal drink is more than appropriate and where sleeves rolled up, right from the bottle, is the preferred way to go. I light up a half smoked cigar I’ve been carrying in my pocket, and wonder if it can be much better.
An hour slips by just like the night breeze and I gather myself back together when I hear my woman let out the dog. “Here fella, I got your treat.” It’s usually a scrap from my food, a bone or a bit of leftovers. We end up with him sitting in front of me, with his ears and head going back and forth as he tries to understand my slightly slurred speech. Anyways, he is usually called back in as the woman of the house wants to retire to bed.
Eventually I end up walking around the yard having a look at things, enjoying the quiet, surveying the land as they say. I sit on the bench under the tree and then the lawn chair. I always pick one flower or another and you know, smell the roses, enjoy the fruits.
I go about my business every day and cause no man harm. I expect to come home to my castle - a man and his domain, and have my privacy, as I’m having right now. If I want to peel off my clothes and dance to the stars naked, as I am about to do, then so be it, bottle in hand I can howl to hell and back.
I know. yeah, I know there are neighbours and rules and many reasons to not push the envelope or their patience, so I won’t yell. Instead, I turn and turn, spinning with the wind, I dance up a storm. I am truly a king, lord of this place and would be able to stand chest out and proud if I hadn’t just banged into the garbage can and made a racket.
“Honey wake up.”
“What’s wrong dear?”
“There’s a noise outside.”
Johnson rolled out of bed and walked to the bedroom window overlooking the backyard. As he pulled up the window he was shocked, and then angered.
“You crazy bum, get your naked ass out of my yard! I told you I’ll call the cops you moron.”
As I stumble up the road, clothes in my hand, I'm a little embarrassed. I know there is a conflict here, I mean I said a castle, but I also mentioned a different take on things. I have many castles and even towns that I have surveyed and call my own.
Almost tripping on the pants I’m carrying, I stop and try to orientate myself.
I need somewhere close, so it’s off to the McCormack’s where the servants cook too much and there’s this lazy creek at the back of the property where the hammock is always hanging.